“Thick pillows of steam hovered lazily over the still crystal blue water.
There was a purple flower tucked behind my right ear. My hair was damp
and wavy. It laid straight back and stuck to my shoulders. I wore a pure
white bikini, custom-made to fit every curve of my body. The bikini top
had a twenty-four-karat-gold shiny V that clasped between my breasts.
The bottoms were held by strings tied neatly in a bow on each side.
“We splashed and flirted. The sexual tension was high! He pulled me
close to his toned body. I wrapped my legs tightly around his muscular
thighs and moved my hips in circular motion that was very slow and
rhythmic. I could feel his hard bulge throbbing through his fitted red
“He held me with strong arms. My arms rested on his shoulders,
and my hands stroked the back of his neck and head. He slid his tongue
between my lips . . . I opened my mouth slightly wider, and he began to
kiss me very passionately. He moaned deeply as he kissed me.
“The sound of soft thunder rumbled through the night sky while light
raindrops fell. I slowly walked through the pool. It was completely silent.
The only sound you could hear was the sound of the water splashing
against the pool walls as I sashayed through the pool. I slowly stepped
up the lit stairs and out of the pool. I took my towel off the back of the
poolside chaise lounge, then slightly bending over, I slowly moved the
towel down my left leg then my right.
12 ADE’ KNIGHT
“I never looked back, but I could feel him watching my every
movement. It felt like he was intensely studying every inch of my body
with his eyes. I stood upward, tilted my head back, and dabbed the towel
on my neck then on my chest to dry the water droplets.
“I suddenly felt a warm sensation. It was his breath on my shoulder
followed by a gentle kiss with his tender full lips.
“He took the towel from my hand and threw it aside. With my back
against his chest, he wrapped both his arms around me to unclasp my
top. It fell to the ground. He slowly massaged my breasts and played
with my firm and erect nipples . . . My gosh, it felt so good. I could
feel a heat building in my lower stomach. He then moved his hand
slowly over my breast and down my stomach then he rubbed my pelvis
“I felt my vaginal muscles contracting from his caressing touch. I
desperately wanted him inside of me!
“He glided his hand ever so slowly to my right side . . . My stomach
tightened at his soft touch. He found the tie that held my bikini bottoms,
and with a gentle but firm hold, he pulled the white string. My bikini
bottom slid down my left leg. He reached under my right thigh and lifted
my leg. I could feel a warm lavalike fluid slowly run down my inner thigh.
He braced his palm firmly on my stomach, and using his left foot, he
moved my foot outward to spread my legs slightly wider. My breathing
increased then became out of control at the anticipation that was building
at the very thought of him entering my body.
“Then suddenly I heard a loud BEEP-BEEP-BEEP!”
“Beep, beep, beep?”
“Yes, girl, it was my alarm clock going off this morning. And I woke
up! Yep, it was only a dream. But, I mean, everything in the dream seemed
so intense, so real. I feel like I was actually there! There was a connection
I had with this man. I don’t remember what his face looked like, but it
HOT LOINS 13
was something special about him. Gosh, what’s the matter with me? Why
am I having dreams like this?” Victoria said to her best friend as they sat
across from each other at a coffee shop.
“Victoria Billings, we’ve been best friends since the first grade, so
you can trust me when I tell you this. There is absolutely nothing wrong
with you. You’re human. You have desires, that’s all.”
“Terra, when is it going to happen for me? I’m not comparing myself
to you, but you have an awesome husband and great kids, an absolutely
beautiful and loving family. You guys are so close to each other! I want
that too. I’m ready for a serious relationship. I want to be married and
later become a mother of maybe three or four children.”
Victoria grew frustrated as she said, “Gosh, I’m twenty-eight, come
from a great household, I’m a psychologist, have a successful practice,
and make good money.
“I feel like I’m spiritually, emotionally, and mentally stable, for the
most part. Yeah, I have my moments, but I’m human.
“And I promise I’m not being cocky, but I’m a pretty girl too, so I’m
told.” Victoria grinned to lighten up the moment.
“I want to love, but I want to be loved too!”
Terra compassionately added, “Aw, honey, I know how it is to want
those things. Honestly, I don’t think there is a set formula or steps to take
in order to have those things. I wish I could tell you an exact time and
date that it will happen for you, but I can’t. The only thing I can tell you
is to continue to be patient and wait. It will happen. I promise you that.
It’s only a matter of time.”
“Thanks for the encouragement. Ooh, look at the time. It’s six, what
time do you have to pick up your honey?”
“Oh my, now. Let me run. Thanks for the latte. Next time it’ll be on
14 ADE’ KNIGHT
Terra hurriedly grabbed her purse, gave Victoria a quick hug, and
Victoria sat at the coffee shop until she finished her latte. She wasn’t
in a rush as she had an hour’s drive before she would reach her home in
The weather was warm and breezy. She drove with the top of
her sporty Mercedes convertible down. As she drove along A1A,
the palm trees’ leaves blew in the wind. Not much traffic was out
as she drove at a slower pace, taking in the fresh smell of the ocean
breeze and listening to classical music she played at a relatively
Her hair hung in midback length trimmed in subtle layers with
sun-kissed golden brown highlights that accented her flawless skin tone.
She faithfully maintained her hair at an upscale beauty salon weekly,
resulting in its healthy, thick, and full-body appearance.
It blew through the wind as she drove, and whenever she came to a
stop, her hair fell right back into place.
She finally reached the entrance of her estate. At the black gate, she
punched in her code. The gate slowly swung open.
She drove on brick pavement at about twenty miles per hour. On each
side of the pavement was a perfectly manicured green lawn. There were
palm trees that lined both sides of the brick driveway. The leaves of the
trees created a cool and cozy shadow along the driveway. It was obvious
she had spent a pretty penny on the landscaping.
There was a beautiful large water fountain in the center of the
circular driveway. As she neared her home, she could hear the waters’
continuous splash in the pool it created. The driveway wrapped around
Victoria’s car came to a stop in front of the steps that led to the double
doors of her home. She let the convertible’s top up, took her keys out of
HOT LOINS 15
the ignition, stepped out of the car, and gently closed the door behind
her. She set the car alarm as she skipped up the steps.
Once inside her luxurious home, Sampson, her rambunctious golden
retriever; Delilah, her teacup Yorkie; and Blueberry, her Maine coon cat,
Victoria hung her keys on the key hook, threw her purse on the cherry
oak chest in the spacious foyer, then knelt on one knee as she briskly
rubbed Sampson’s head and kissed him; Blueberry rubbed along Victoria’s
ankles and let out a couple of meows.
She scooped up Delilah and headed up about three marble steps before
walking through a long hallway decorated with framed paintings along
the wall. This hall led her to the large state-of-the-art kitchen toward the
back of her house where she filled three personalized shiny silver bowls
with food for each pet.
She then walked over to the fridge where she grabbed an organic
premade salad and a small bottle of Perrier. She sat at the bar in the
kitchen and looked through the large glass window that had a view of
the intercoastal as she ate.
The sun was starting to set, and orange light reflected on the navy
blue-colored water. Every now and then, a fish would jump out of the
water, though she never did get a glimpse of the actual fish, only the
ripples it made in the water from its splash. Her gaze was broken when
her telephone rang.
She ran out of the kitchen through the swinging doors. After running to
the other side of her house and making it to the living room, she grabbed
the cordless phone that was lying on her plush large tan sofa just before
the last ring.
“Hey, Terra, yes, I made it home safely, thanks. Oh, I just fed all three
of my babies and . . .” As she spoke, she walked back to the kitchen to
16 ADE’ KNIGHT
Wiping down the countertop of the bar where she was eating earlier,
she continued, “Then ate a salad for dinner. Now I’m going to take a
nice long bubble bath, maybe do some painting, journal, and call it a
night. Date? Not tonight. Sean did call, but it’s Friday, and I just want to
be with me tonight. And you? Okay. Well, it sounds like you have your
hands full, so I’m going to let you go. Thanks again for checking on me.
Love you too, talk to you later.”
Victoria walked up the spiral staircase that led to the second and
third levels of her multimillion-dollar home. Her bedroom was on the
She walked into her spacious walk-in closet where she undressed and
returned her clothes to the hangers.
She slipped on her pink satin robe and went into her bathroom where
she immersed herself into a soothing warm bath of pulsating jet streams.
The only light that lit the bathroom came from the flame of the aromatic
candles she placed around her bathtub.
After her bath, she slid into a cotton tank-top-and-shorts pajama set.
As she opened the sliding door leading to her balcony, her hair gently
blew back from the warm breeze that came in. She stepped out onto the
balcony that overlooked the beach, grabbed her canvas and brush, and
touched up a painting she’d been working on. She grew tired after a short
while, went back inside, and walked up the miniature staircase that led to
her extreme, ultra king-sized bed and said a quick prayer before drifting
off to sleep.
The next morning, the bright sun rays that radiated through the
windows awakened Victoria. With her eyes still closed, she just lay in
bed for a while. A part of her yearned for someone to be next to her.
HOT LOINS 17
She thought to herself, I’m so tired of being single, going to bed
and waking up alone! I want a good man! Someone who’s mine! What
do I have to do to find one? I can’t take this much longer! It seems like
everyone has a man but me. What is wrong with me?
Her thoughts seemed to run together, one triggering the next. I’m
lonely and horny all the time. But I just don’t want to sleep with anyone.
And when I do make love, I want it to mean something. I wonder what
Sean is doing. I should call him, but I know he’s just trying to get in my
pants. I really need to leave him alone. No, I need a friend. I’m calling
Victoria met Sean while browsing through an art gallery when she
was in Washington DC on business. He pursued her, and after some small
talk, they found they lived near each other in Florida. They kind of hit it
off and began seeing each other when returning from the Capitol. They
had been dating on and off for about a month.
Sean stood about six foot four inches, had a dark chocolate complexion
and chiseled features. He looked like a model, and he knew it. He’s one
of those metrosexual guys . . . gets regular manicures and pedicures.
Always has a mirror on hand. Constantly asks how he looks when the
truth is he already knows he looks good.
He’s an attorney and very arrogant.
Victoria picked up her cell and called Sean. “Hi, Sean! Do you want
to do something today? I was thinking—” Sean cut her off midsentence
to suggest his idea.
“Uh, okay. And what time will you be here to pick me up? Sevenish?
Okay, I’ll be ready.”
Sean’s law firm was having a social gathering where all the
staff—attorneys, paralegals, clerks, and receptionists—could meet and
mingle. The head honcho, Joel Goldberg, paid for in full this dinner and
entertainment on a yacht for roughly five hundred employees.
18 ADE’ KNIGHT
Sean arrived at Victoria’s gate at seven on the dot; she buzzed him
Victoria wore a black strapless cocktail dress that hugged her
Coke-bottle figure perfectly; black ankle straps defined her shapely and
toned legs and added about an inch and a half to her five-foot-nine-inch-tall
womanly stature. She held her small purse—big enough to hold her cell
phone, keys, and small wallet—under her arm and walked toward Sean’s
shiny black BMW. A part of her thought he would’ve at least gotten out of
the car to open her door, but this was Sean. It’s always all about him.
She opened the door, and after sitting, he leaned in and kissed her
on the cheek. She was waiting for him to compliment her, but he never
did. He did ask, “You like my sunglasses? I paid four hundred dollars
Victoria replied dryly, “Yes, they’re nice.”
During the entire drive, Sean talked about himself only. Their date
hadn’t even started, and Victoria was already wishing it was over. But
she thought to herself, Well, this beats sitting in that big empty house
alone. They arrived and boarded the yacht.
Conversations among self-absorbed, pretentious attorneys talking
about the law firm’s clients and progress of the firm took up most of
the evening. Every now and again, phony laughter would ring out at
someone’s cheap shot at humor.
The event lasted for about two and a half hours. Victoria didn’t say
much the entire night, just smiled and nodded. She served to be just a
trophy on Sean’s arm; eye candy, so to speak.
They arrived back at her house, and Sean asked if she minded him
coming inside to talk. Victoria knew he wanted to do much more than
talking. She had no desire in being with him sexually, but she could use
HOT LOINS 19
While sitting on the sofa, Sean took Victoria’s hand and said,
“Victoria, I really like you. I enjoy being around you. We’ve been seeing
each other for a while now. I think we need to take this relationship to
the next level.”
Victoria turned and looked at Sean in the eye with a serious expression
on her face, asking, “And how do you suggest we take this relationship
to the next level?”
Sean leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, then on her earlobe, then
on her neck; using the back of his middle finger, he lightly moved it down
the length of her arm and whispered, “Like this.”
He continued to kiss her. She wanted to be kissed and caressed, but
not by him. She couldn’t get into it because she didn’t like him like that.
He was just a friend . . . Nothing more and nothing less.
She squirmed as his advances began to turn her off. She said, “Sean,
please. I’ve told you I’m not looking for that right now, not this soon.
I want to get to know you before we, as you have stated, ‘take it to the
Sean’s nonverbal actions were loud and clear. You could see the
impatience he felt with what Victoria had to say. Trying hard to mask his
sarcasm but failing to do so, he said, “Okay, so you want to get to know
each other. Fine, let’s talk. What do you want to know about me?”
Victoria chuckled, and not surprised at his response, she said, “Sean,
actually I’m getting tired and I have yoga in the morning. I really hate to
cut this short, but let’s continue this conversation another time, please.”
As she said that, she thought to herself, Yeah right.
She walked Sean to the door. He attempted to kiss Victoria, but
she turned her face to avoid him kissing her on the lips. Sean appeared
shocked; after all, he was drop-dead gorgeous, and he thought every
woman with a pulse would seize the moment to kiss him.
20 ADE’ KNIGHT
He thought to himself, She’s just playing hard to get, she’ll be begging
for it soon! His facial expression was smug when he grinned and kissed
her on the cheek. “Good night, sweetie.”
“Good night, Sean.”
At the break of dawn, Victoria lay in bed awake but kept her eyes
closed. This was what she usually did before getting out of bed, just to
sort her thoughts.
What am I going to do with myself today?
Maybe I’ll go to the beach and read a good book. No, that may be kind of
depressing. I’ll pick a spot to sit, and everywhere I look, I’ll see couples
hugging, kissing, holding hands as they stroll along the shore, or giggling and
playing with each other in the water. I should save myself the torment.
God, I just want someone. Someone who’s not playing games, insane,
jealous and insecure, domineering, looking for a one-night stand, married,
separated or engaged, a drunk, a chain smoker, terrified at the thought
of commitment, a cheat, father of ten kids . . . Well, if they have one or
two, that’s fine . . . Stuff happens.
She caught herself and thought, Am I being too picky? Maybe that’s
why I’m single. Am I living in a fantasy world?
No, I’m a good woman, and I have a lot to offer. I think I deserve to
have what I want. And there are still good men out there.
So anyway, I think if I finish all of my errands in time, maybe I’ll
just catch a matinee. I wonder if Terra would want to meet me halfway
and catch one with me. Oops, I forgot. That girl never misses a Sunday
at church, and they get out so late, and besides, this is her family day
HOT LOINS 21
Whom can I get to go with me? I don’t want to go alone. Hmmm, let
me get my cell phone and see whom I could call.
She leaned over to reach for her sleek cell phone, which was still on
the charger, lying on her nightstand, then went through her contact list.
She had a few male friends who she knew wouldn’t mind going with
her, but after looking at the possibilities, she suddenly wasn’t in the mood
for just going through the motions with those fellows and decided just
to go solo.
She got up and put on her sportswear, grabbed her cell, ran downstairs
to grab a banana for breakfast, and headed out to her yoga class.
After yoga, she needed to do some light grocery shopping, so she
swung by an organic grocery store. Victoria was no health nut as she
indulged in a dessert that is chocolate and decadent once a week, but aside
from that, she did make good healthy decisions where she could.
Upon returning home, she found the cleaning service she hired on a
weekly basis to deep clean her home had arrived.
She put her groceries away and made herself a veggie burger for
As soon as she sat down to eat, her cell rang; it was Michael. She met
him at a pharmacy while picking up antibiotics for a cavity she had. He
was the pharmacist, Asian-American, about five foot ten, average-looking
guy. They went out to dinner a few times and he was nice, but for her,
the chemistry was just not there.
She sent the call to her voice mail and went to take a shower before
going back out to catch a matinee.
Victoria returned from the movie theater later that afternoon. She
hadn’t spoken to her mom all weekend; it was time to give her a call
and check in.
Victoria sat on the edge of her bed and called her mother. “Hey, Mom,
how are you?”
22 ADE’ KNIGHT
“I’m good, baby. Your dad and I just walked in the door. After church,
we went to that little French restaurant and sat outside to eat. The weather
was just too pretty to sit indoors. What did you do today?”
“I went to my yoga class, ran a couple errands, and caught a foreign
matinee. And now I’m talking to you.”
“Are you coming by?”
“No, I think I’m gonna stay home and relax, get ready for the
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing, Mom, I’m good. So—”
Her mother cut her off and said, “My word, how in the world did
you graduate with your PhD from Georgetown? I thought you had to be
smart to get into that college, let alone graduate.”
“Mom, are you all right?”
“I’m fine. But you have to be some kind of dumb to think I believe
you’re ‘good.’ I birthed ya . . . I know when you’re lying to me.”
“Vicky, tell Mommy what’s the matter.”
“You always know. No matter how much I smile, laugh, and sound
cheerful. You always know, how do you do that? I guess that’s mother’s
“You could call it that. So tell me what’s troubling my baby?”
“I’m just lonely.” Her voice broke as she tried to swallow that big
painful lump that formed in the back of her throat.
“Aw, baby girl, you sure you don’t want to come by? No, please let
me come to the house to see you?”
Trying desperately to keep it together, she said, “I’ll be all right, Mom,
but thanks. Let me get off the phone, and I’ll give you a call tomorrow.
Maybe we can meet for lunch at our favorite spot.”
“Okay, sweetie, talk to you later. Love you.”
HOT LOINS 23
“I love you too.”
As soon as Victoria ended the call, she couldn’t hold back her
emotions any longer. She was hurting so bad emotionally, the pain felt
like it was physical. She burst into tears.
As she cried, she thought to herself, I don’t think I can take this much
longer. I’m hurting. I’m lonely. She cried, and she cried hard. Her eyes
began to burn, and her nose was running. She struggled to get air as her
cry became more intense.
She pulled some tissues out of the box that sat on her vanity to dry
her tears. When she thought she was done crying, she found there were
still more tears left, so she cried some more. She cried until she just
couldn’t cry anymore.
Once she composed herself, she caught a glimpse of her face in the
bathroom mirror. Her eyes were puffy and red along with her nose.
After drying her face, she walked back into her bedroom. She picked
up her journal to do some writing, and as soon as her pen hit the paper,
the doorbell rang. Only two people had the code to her gate: Terra and
her mother. That’s my mom.
She quickly dabbed a cold washcloth over her face hoping that the
redness and swelling around her eyes would be less noticeable so her
mom wouldn’t see that she’d been crying hysterically.
She ran down to get the door. Once inside, her mom looked at her
and knew she’d been crying, but didn’t say anything about it.
“Hey, love, since I couldn’t get you to come and see me, I brought
you a slice of my homemade ultimate black-and-white seven-layer silk
chocolate cake I baked especially for you!”
This cake was composed of white, milk, and dark chocolate, chocolate
Cool Whip, chocolate curls, chocolate mousse, chocolate pudding,
chocolate truffle, chocolate chips, chocolate caramel, chocolate chunks,
chocolate drizzles, crushed chocolate cookies, and chocolate-covered
24 ADE’ KNIGHT
nuts. It was very moist and rich in flavor and was Victoria’s favorite
“Thanks, Mom, this is just what I needed.” As she spoke, her voice
was a little shaky, and she sounded stuffy. That’s only because she was
crying so much.
Her mom’s heart sank as she could somehow feel the pain and
loneliness Victoria felt. Victoria sounded so sad, and at the sound of her
voice, her mom found herself choking back tears because she understood
what her precious daughter was going through.
“You’re welcome, sweetie. I didn’t come to stay, just to drop this to
you. Call me if you need me.”
Mrs. Billings desperately wanted to stay with her daughter, but she
knew Victoria needed to have her moment.
After her mom left, Victoria sat in the den on her comfy sofa, grabbed
the remote, and flipped through the channels. She tuned in to an old
black-and-white movie and enjoyed the dessert her mother brought her
with a tall ice-cold glass of fat-free milk.
After her late-night snack, she brushed and flossed her teeth. Victoria,
emotionally drained, crawled into bed and fell into a deep sleep shortly
after her head hit the pillow.